The song was playing in her head again; "Already I'm so lonesome I could cry..."another tear streaked her pretty face.She thought about the lasting friends she had made at Queen Anne's. Five of them had been fired with ambition and over drinks in the Student's Union bar, or during the occasional all-girl pub meal on a Friday evening they had confided their hopes and fears. They all wanted different careers, but most of all they wanted personal success in a man's world. Of the five of them, Megan was the only one to take additional degrees. Her Masters and then her BSc, a Bachelor of Science for her Political Science qualification.Sharon and Judy were both married, one with a baby and the other pregnant, and both now seemed happily content to raise a family, to forget success in a man's world and give no more than a casual wave of goodbye to abandoned careers and ambitions.Yvonne was in a relationship and complained bitterly to Megan about the household duties that seemed expected of. At that age I went to Amsterdam with some friends and went to a peep show where you could also watch porn movies. After researching all the straight options, including a movie of a woman with a sheepdog that I didn't find exciting, I went into a booth and chose a gay movie. That interest could have signaled what was to come, but I probably only saw oral sex because the video did not impress much. Even collective masturbation experiences with friends at that time did not arouse any desire for men or cocks for me. The pinnacle, of course, was that the boy in a sailing camp who told me in our room at night about "how nice it was to put a finger in your anus" didn't wake me up in anything. It might not have helped that I had bowel disorders at the time, but I found the story and the boy more strange than exciting. But there was some slumber somewhere, because I know that an excerpt in an information book about young boys who were initiated by older boys into men's love did excite me. But.
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